It's dinner at 9pm on Valentine's Day OK so I make a special effort. Just for the record, I looked hot in my LBD and my peep-toe pumps said F-me. He walks out the door as I pull up at valet (late model, grown up BMW) and I say hi and he has this strange look on his face that I can't fathom. Really, so i'm thinking maybe i'm not his type, or he didn't like how I look in person. So...whatever but it really is digging at me. I wasn't really crushed by his reaction...but as a woman when you get all done up you want your "date" to give you a compliment. Zip, zilch, nada.
So we go into the hostess area and I say to him, "You look exactly like your pictures" and he says to me, "You look like your pictures (then with much feeling)...much better than your pictures". I must admit, I was a little vindicated -at least he didn't find me totally repulsive LOL.
Dinner is progressing and he says to me, "You are such a beautiful woman (and trails off like he wants to add a but). Of course, I am thinking if I exceed your expectations then let's talk about the arrangement. Still nothing.....
I should say here that we've been communicating (e-mail and voice), since about Thanksgiving time and money never came up. He never brought up sex (except for mild innuendo on both ends) and I never brought up money. I thought I was so lucky to have found someone who didn't want just sex since I didn't want just money. I didn't even ask any identifying info about him - my way of saying i'm not desperate...as if
After dinner, he says we should go over to his hotel to have a glass of wine and talk. We walk to his hotel and there's no bar or (gasp) lobby for that matter. He then suggests we go up to his room to talk (because I fell off the turnip truck last night). By now I am quite annoyed so I say, "We sat through dinner for two hours and you didn't say anything, what can you possibly have to say to me in your room? You can tell me over the phone. I'm going home". And with that I was off.
This guy had enough strikes against him:
1) He didn't wear a jacket
2) He refused to get a bigger cut of steak when I hinted that I wanted to share (If you refuse me when you're supposed to be trying to impress me...duh)
3) He stayed in a crappy hotel
4) He did not ask if I wanted more wine when my glass was empty
5) He did not pick up my valet
6) He brought me a gift of two pieces of valentine candy in a cellophane bag tied with raffia (Hint gentlemen: a pair of diamond studs can never be inappropriate)
That was on Monday so now he calls me on the Saturday. This is the longest we haven't spoken and I had just about given up on hearing from him ever again. He tells me I was stand-offish and I countered that I wouldn't feel comfortable being "warmer" since his reaction to me was so off-putting. Then he said that I just looked so much more than what he expected that he was shocked. Then, "I shoudda just gone over and given you a big ol' hug". I said you should. Anyway blah...blah yes, he wants to go forward....me, not so much but I want to talk to him a little more to see what he's offering, etc.
Just coincidentally I was telling him about me standing in a store once and being totally lost about exactly what I needed and I say, "you'd be suprised how helpful the people who shop there are, all you have to do is stand there and look like you need help". And he says (sarcastically), "Yeah, and you look like you need a lot of help". And that's how I know he doesn't think I'm desperate enough to be his SB.
I have reason to believe he has all the millions he claims but based on the six things above, I think he's also stingy as hell (or I didn't bring out the big spender in him). Someone like that will want you to work for every penny of your allowance. And that is not for me because I don't think I'll know how to measure $K worth of "loving". Yes, I went there, LOL.
We talked a little today and though I have no interest in anything official with him, next time I am going to have a mid-level crisis and see if he comes through. What do you think? Does anyone know what crisis these kinds respond to best? Please let me know.
Do SDs only want crisis-ridden SBs? Do I have to be in danger of being evicted; having my phone disconnected or my car reposessed to be attractive to an SD?
Ain't life grand!
