Too Hot for Sugar?

It's dinner at 9pm on Valentine's Day OK so I make a special effort. Just for the record, I looked hot in my LBD and my peep-toe pumps said F-me. He walks out the door as I pull up at valet (late model, grown up BMW) and I say hi and he has this strange look on his face that I can't fathom. Really, so i'm thinking maybe i'm not his type, or he didn't like how I look in person. So...whatever but it really is digging at me. I wasn't really crushed by his reaction...but as a woman when you get all done up you want your "date" to give you a compliment. Zip, zilch, nada.

So we go into the hostess area and I say to him, "You look exactly like your pictures" and he says to me, "You look like your pictures (then with much feeling)...much better than your pictures". I must admit, I was a little vindicated -at least he didn't find me totally repulsive LOL.

Dinner is progressing and he says to me, "You are such a beautiful woman (and trails off like he wants to add a but). Of course, I am thinking if I exceed your expectations then let's talk about the arrangement. Still nothing.....

I should say here that we've been communicating (e-mail and voice), since about Thanksgiving time and money never came up. He never brought up sex (except for mild innuendo on both ends) and I never brought up money. I thought I was so lucky to have found someone who didn't want just sex since I didn't want just money. I didn't even ask any identifying info about him - my way of saying i'm not desperate...as if

After dinner, he says we should go over to his hotel to have a glass of wine and talk. We walk to his hotel and there's no bar or (gasp) lobby for that matter. He then suggests we go up to his room to talk (because I fell off the turnip truck last night). By now I am quite annoyed so I say, "We sat through dinner for two hours and you didn't say anything, what can you possibly have to say to me in your room? You can tell me over the phone. I'm going home". And with that I was off.

This guy had enough strikes against him:
1) He didn't wear a jacket
2) He refused to get a bigger cut of steak when I hinted that I wanted to share (If you refuse me when you're supposed to be trying to impress me...duh)
3) He stayed in a crappy hotel
4) He did not ask if I wanted more wine when my glass was empty
5) He did not pick up my valet
6) He brought me a gift of two pieces of valentine candy in a cellophane bag tied with raffia (Hint gentlemen: a pair of diamond studs can never be inappropriate)

That was on Monday so now he calls me on the Saturday. This is the longest we haven't spoken and I had just about given up on hearing from him ever again. He tells me I was stand-offish and I countered that I wouldn't feel comfortable being "warmer" since his reaction to me was so off-putting. Then he said that I just looked so much more than what he expected that he was shocked. Then, "I shoudda just gone over and given you a big ol' hug". I said you should. Anyway blah...blah yes, he wants to go forward....me, not so much but I want to talk to him a little more to see what he's offering, etc.

Just coincidentally I was telling him about me standing in a store once and being totally lost about exactly what I needed and I say, "you'd be suprised how helpful the people who shop there are, all you have to do is stand there and look like you need help". And he says (sarcastically), "Yeah, and you look like you need a lot of help". And that's how I know he doesn't think I'm desperate enough to be his SB.

I have reason to believe he has all the millions he claims but based on the six things above, I think he's also stingy as hell (or I didn't bring out the big spender in him). Someone like that will want you to work for every penny of your allowance. And that is not for me because I don't think I'll know how to measure $K worth of "loving". Yes, I went there, LOL.

We talked a little today and though I have no interest in anything official with him, next time I am going to have a mid-level crisis and see if he comes through. What do you think? Does anyone know what crisis these kinds respond to best? Please let me know.

Do SDs only want crisis-ridden SBs? Do I have to be in danger of being evicted; having my phone disconnected or my car reposessed to be attractive to an SD?

Ain't life grand!

And so a blogger is borne

I became aware of the whole SB genre of blogging sometime in May when I stumbled upon a sister SB's blog. Well, this is how it happened. I hadn't been on the SA blog for a while so I was just lurking but mostly catching up with what's going on with the "regulars". (Note: even though I have a profile on SA, I was not actively looking and instead liked the feeling of community on the blog.) Like I said, I hadn't been on in a while and there were a number of people there that I hadn't recognized from my last time. So in my effort to put names, well, handles to profiles, I clicked on this uber SB's name and happened upon her blog - who knew. And so my blog addiction was borne and thus.

These weren't just her experiences though. This was much more like an online newspaper in terms of layout, etc. Heck, she even had interviews. It was like having the "Sugar Bowl Post and Constitution". Needless to say, I was hooked and wanted to find out if other SB's were blogging and how they were managing the search and sustaining their sugar relationships.

I have learned so much from these talented writers and thank them all for being vulnerable and baring their souls to us. These blogs have directly impacted my search process so far and with their permission I would like to thank:

· Goal Digger for invaluable advice on how to get better response rate from eligible SDs by refining the online profile writing process. After reading her recommendations, I deleted my profile from a relationship site. It occurred to me that I hadn’t seen anyone suitable there because I was looking in the wrong place for what I wanted. I now have plans to get new pictures for SA and to upload a killer profile there also.

· SD David for giving me the term to define what I am seeking from the Sugar Bowl. I am a *cough* little older that most SBs here and have always felt awkward using the term Sugar Baby to refer to myself. I’ve always known what I wanted from and what I had to offer in a relationship. So imagine the cartoonish elegant light bulb that went on/off over my head when SD David used the term “European or Parisian relationship” Experience to describe his own needs at this time. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I am from an island in the Caribbean with heavy British influences and all my IRL boyfriends there were what is called Sugar Daddies - just never knew how to describe my relationships “here”. So thank you SD David. I am proud to say I’m offering the European Experience– c’est chic, non?

· East Coast for teaching me that no one person owns the rights to defining what a Sugar relationship should be. Sugar relationships can be whatever you make it out to be so long as it works for the individuals involved. Oh, I admire her moxie and that she makes no apologies for her Sugar Life. I hope to come back here and thank her for teaching me to be vulnerable which translates as honesty for me. In yesterday’s post, I omitted saying I needed to start working out diligently and lose about 10 pounds. I opted instead for the anemic “get glamorous”. Wow, that was honest – maybe I can thank you now East Coast!

· Baby Bow for showing us how it’s done! Her results, I believe, are in direct proportion to the work she’s put into the SD search. Who can forget the 100+ e-mails and the subsequent dates for the elimination rounds? Through her, I have come to realize that finding the perfect Sugar situation is/takes hard work. I read this entire blog in two days. I didn’t feel like I was wasting time, au contraire, I felt like it was time well-spent on research and relevant preparation for the task ahead.

Next time from the archives of my now defunct Shangri-La: Are you In?

Life is grand, yes?

I should probably say here that I was in a sugar relationship for almost three years. MY SD, actually SBF has a very successful company and business requires that he live on the other coast. He wants us to be more serious which would entail me moving out there with him. I don't want to and though he did the traveling, he hated it and I hated the "disagreements" over the whole thing.

Sometimes it would look like this is definitely it and then things would smooth out - temporarily, I know. Anyway, it was after one of these fits that I put up the profiles I spoke about in June. Fast forward today and it is definately over. I am over his refusal to believe I don't want to make such a major change in my life and he's over my "indeciciveness" - his word. WTF?? I have said every time, "No, I am not moving".

We've agreed to make a clean break, i.e. no calls, no little favors, no more dirty sex. Just kidding (kind of). So, that's it. Fin. Done. Kaput.

I can hardly wait for the new adventures to begin!

Isn't life grand?

I Have to Start Somewhere, Right?

I will use this space to chronicle my foray into the sugar bowl as an aspiring sugar baby to full-fledge kept woman. It is with some trepedition that I even write any of this but I know that when you "write it down you make it happen". These are the goals I hope to achieve as I prepare my self to be the Ultimate Kept Woman (UKW):

• Ramp up image to glamourous (professional -not glamour- pictures, suitable dating wardrobe


• Update killer profile to multiple SD sites (SA, SD, SD4M, CL (gasp)


• Check out the hot spots in my city with girlfriends at least 2x per month


• Update blog weekly


• Make time to do all the above ;)

Next time I will talk about how I got to this point where I know a SD will benefit greatly from being in my company.

Isn't life grand?

Sweet Jezzy